


Beneath the Surface

by DarkWarriorProgram (KoolKat_SuperStar_DareDevil), DorianBlackwall, KaitoKitsune



Series: Ghosts of the Spectres [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, Post-Virmire, Ruthless (Mass Effect), Virmire (Mass Effect)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-01-11 19:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18430457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KoolKat_SuperStar_DareDevil/pseuds/DarkWarriorProgram, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DorianBlackwall/pseuds/DorianBlackwall, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitoKitsune/pseuds/KaitoKitsune
Summary: To most, Andrew Shepard is a ruthless hardass. He’s sarcastic, has no regard for other people, and had a stature he used to intimidate everyone around him. If you asked the crew of the Normandy they would give you a completely different answer. At one point they may have given you the same answer as anyone else,now they know better.





	1. Strength of The Fragile- Joker

Joker had gone and made an ass of himself to the Commander. He’d assumed that Shepard, like every other CO he’d had before, had read his file and assumed Joker had been given the recommendations and scores due to his illness. The pilot wasn’t sure if the shock of the Commander’s question had worn off yet. Shepard had legitimately come into the cockpit just to talk to him. That was something Joker hadn’t experienced before. And he went and made an ass of himself by snapping at the commander. If Shepard ever came around again he’d have to apologize. _Well you know what they say: assuming makes an ass out of you and me._

Next time Shepard- Andrew- came around he announced his entrance into the cockpit with a loud “I’m impressed with that fancy flying you did there, Joker.” The larger man walked up next to the pilot’s chair and Joker braced himself for the same treatment he’d seen the commander give the squad members such as Garrus and Wrex. When he felt a firm hand give his shoulder a light, but not inconsiderable, squeeze. He was confused and by the time he recovered the Commander had already left.

Over the next couple weeks the commander continued to periodically talk to Joker in the cockpit. It wasn’t until the Normandy acquired a couple new crew members, engineers if remembered right or maybe more soldiers, that the pilot realized what Shepard was doing. The two men were treating him like any other member of the crew, which normally he welcomed. The problem was the crew tended to be a bit rough with each other. Andrew came into the mess hall at the sound of the loud voices. He took one look at the men and shouted to get their attention. “Ackers! Terrell! I thought I told you to get those weapons and armor cleaned up! Don’t make me tell you a third time!” The two men in question glanced at each other with fear creeping into their eyes and ran off toward the elevator to the cargo bay where the equipment was kept. Andrew turned around and went back to the Captain’s quarters as soon as the sound of the elevator door was heard. Joker watched him in confusion for a few minutes before it dawned on him. Shepard was trying not to hurt him. The pilot smiled as he made his way back to the cockpit, satisfied with the knowledge that Andrew was looking out for him.


	2. Mental Embrace- Liara

Liara wasn’t sure what she expected from the Normandy’s Commander. When the krogan blocked their escape he hadn’t hesitated in attacking the problem, literally. Nonetheless she was grateful for him saving her and was determined to help however she could.

It was always difficult to connect with someone, especially as strong willed as Shepard. Liara focused on the Prothean vision and it soon flooded her mind, as well as small bits of something else. The asari didn’t dare delve further into the smaller bits of information Shepard’s mind was providing, lest she pry into something she shouldn’t. It almost seemed more difficult to not look into the bits that were mixed in with the beacon. Liara’s curiosity got the better of her when the beacon’s vision ended and she gave the pieces a small ‘poke’. The first thing she noticed is that they ‘felt’ warm. Her momentary loss of concentration was enough for the fragments to flood her mind as the barrier she’d placed to keep them at bay weakened. The heat of the fragments raced through her mind, not painful but comforting. Brief flashes of each of the crew and squad went through her mind. Just beyond the warmth there was something else that pushed at her mind. The new part gave off an eerie feeling, like something sinister was lurking there. Liara couldn’t help the curiosity that compelled her to look closer. As soon as she did an agony she’d never felt before ripped through her mind. Blood oozed from these new fragments as if they were wounds, the dark liquid pooling on the floor around her in the mindscape. She quickly ended the connection before she looked any further into Shepard’s mind.

The Commander found her a bit later in the back room of the medbay. The door closed behind him and she turned to speak to him. “Oh Commander. Are you checking up on me?” “I just came to see how you’re doing.”  
“Oh I’m feeling much better now.”  
Shepard suddenly became serious, his body straightening slightly, intimidating and commanding attention.  
“I don’t know what you saw in my head, but if you say anything to anyone about something other than the beacon you’ll be left on the next planet we land on.” He turned around and left the room before Liara had a chance to reply. She shook her head as a smile crept onto her face. She doubted he’d actually follow through with that threat, and she never intended to tell anyone anyway.


	3. The Most Fragile Thing and The Loudest Sound- Tali

Silence. That’s all that you could hear in the ‘night’ hours of the Normandy. The silence kept her awake. In the Migrant Fleet silence was the last thing you wanted to hear. Silence meant something wasn’t working. She was getting enough sleep to be able to function well during missions when Shepard picked her for the ground team. The quarian mentioned it in passing and told Shepard the truth when he asked. They ran around the galaxy with no apparent goal or reason for it. Usually the Commander would take a couple of them even when he was just ‘running errands’ as he called it. But lately whenever they stopped somewhere he would leave the ship for maybe an hour or two before returning and seeking out the turian of their group. Tali tried to spy on them and the only information she could get was that they were working on something, a tech project. When she realized what Andrew was up to she couldn’t help feeling hurt. He always went to her for anything tech related, until now it seemed. 

As the days rolled by she continued to be civil to Shepard, shoving the hurt down until she almost couldn’t feel it. Almost. Tali really should have known something was going on when Andrew took her and Liara on a mission; he never left without the turian sniper to cover his back, and it clearly showed as the enemies flanking him would get in a good hit before being taken out. By the time they returned to the Normandy the Commander was covered in more injuries than anyone had ever seen. It wasn’t unusual for Shepard to talk to everyone before finally getting some rest. When Andrew left her alone in the engineering room, where she’d set up a small cot, it took her longer than she cared to admit to notice it. The quarian was almost sleeping when she realized that the silence was gone. She looked around for the source of the noise and found a small contraption near her bed. It was giving off a quiet rumbling sound that seemed louder than it was due to how close to was to her. Tali took a look at the rumbling thing and saw a small switch on the side, curiosity compelling her to flip it. As soon as she did the rumbling sound stopped, and when she flipped it again it started back up. Tali gave a soft smile as the pieces started to come together. Andrew had gone to Garrus because he wanted it to be a surprise; he had taken her and Liara earlier so Garrus would have a chance to set it up. She briefly wondered how he explained what he was doing to the turian, but quickly decided it didn’t matter. Tali slept soundly with the rumbling noise keeping the silence away. Andrew’s personality had always confused her with how curt and ruthless he would be to others, especially the ones that ended up staring down the barrel of his gun, but on the ship he would ask everyone questions about themselves. Shepard could pretend to be an asshole all he wanted; Tali knew better now. 


	4. Forbidden Fruit- Wrex and Garrus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know- the title is a play on words.

Andrew had faced down Geth, Husks, Rachni and the Thorian, but nothing made made fear shoot through him quite like watching Ashley gasp for breath seconds before falling over. The two of them and Dr. Chakwas had been having a meal late at night, or early morning depending on who you asked. The quiet atmosphere was broken when Ashley couldn’t breathe and began to fall off the side of her chair. Andrew rushed to catch her and Dr. Chakwas was close behind. The older woman opened a small pocket in Ashley’s clothes and pulled out a small tube, tearing off the cap and shoving one end against her thigh. A few seconds passed and the dark haired woman gasped for breath and sat up with a dazed look.  
“What happened,” Ashley looked to both of them as the fog in her mind lifted.  
“You had a reaction. You should be fine now, but you’re going to get some rest in the medbay just in case.” After Ashley was safely in the Normandy’s medbay Andrew turned to Dr. Chakwas. “What the hell just happened?!”  
“Ms. Williams is allergic to pineapple, Commander. If she has even a small amount it could end up killing her if not dealt with immediately.” Shepard left the conversation at that as he went to the captain’s quarters to think about what just happened. 

Andrew was up and going through the cabinets pulling out seemingly random items when Gardner came down to start breakfast. The Commander had always been a bit odd so Rupert didn’t think anything of it. There was a large crate of cans, fruit and other seemingly random items on the floor next to the man. Without explanation Andrew picked up the crate and headed toward the elevator. The chef simply shrugged and began his day. 

It was strange to hear the elevator at this hour of the morning, even though everyone had already been awake for sometime. Shepard entered the hanger carrying a crate and received a confused look from the turian and the krogan present.  
“Alright Garrus, Wrex, we’re going shooting.”  
“You say that as if it’s something we don’t do everyday,” Garrus replied.  
“No, not fighting; shooting,” Andrew corrected.  
“What’s the difference,” Wrex spoke up from his place beside the lockers.  
“For starters we don’t have anyone shooting at us in return.” The answer only resulted in blank looks from both of them. 

It ended up taking a few hours to convince Wrex and Garrus to come, and to find a suitable location.  
“Remind me again what the point of this is.” The krogan had been the most reluctant but eventually gave in. That didn’t mean he understood what exactly the Commander wanted him to do.  
“Just try it,” Andrew waved the gun he was holding towards Wrex, who grabbed it with a grumble. The crack of the gun firing toward the ‘targets’ echoed through the mostly silent field. The can in question exploded into a shower of metal and fruit juice as the bullet collided with it. Andrew let out a bark of laughter at the exploding can.  
“Huh. That is kind of fun,” Wrex shrugged.  
“Told you. Making things explode is always fun.” Garrus grabbed sniper rifle and lined up to shoot at the next item in the line. The force of the bullet made the next unlucky can explode as it hit the ground when the shot not only went right through the cylinder of metal, but also pushed it right off the stand it sat on.  
“That is kind of fun,” the turian commented as he quickly shot off another round into the prickly fruit that served as another target; causing it to explode into a shower of yellow chunks. The three guys continued on like that until the create Andrew had taken down to the hanger was completely empty. 

When they got back to the Normandy, Andrew headed toward his quarters as the other two went to find something to eat. Ashley came out of the medbay with Dr. Chakwas right behind her, mid-sentence. “...should be fine now. Just be more careful from now on.”  
“I will Dr. Chakwas. Thanks for helping me,” Ashley waved as she summoned the elevator to go back to her usual spot in the corner of the hanger. Garrus spoke up before the doctor returned to the medbay.  
“Was she hurt on the last mission,” he inquired. They both knew Williams was quite the soldier and if she went to Chakwas it had to be serious.  
“Oh no. She just had a reaction and I wanted to keep an eye on her.”  
“Reaction?” It was Wrex’s turn question the doctor.  
“Yes. An allergic reaction. Williams is deathly allergic to pineapple. She accidentally had some last night when we were eating with the Commander,” Chakwas elaborated and when both of them had no more questions she returned to the medbay. The turian and the krogan stood alone in the mess hall of the Normandy going over what they were just told. Wrex was the first to break the silence.  
“Is that why he…” the krogan left the sentence hanging.  
“I think so,” Garrus answered the open question. The two of them gave each other a knowing look, as much as Shepard could be a hardass, maybe he wasn’t so bad. At least not as bad as he wanted people to believe.


	5. A Rough Remedy- Ashley

Getting into the Normandy was never as difficult as it was standing there on Virmire. How could they have just left Kaidan there to die? Why didn’t they even try to save him also? _Because if they had no one would have survived._ Logically Ashley knew that there was no way to save everyone, that there are casualties in any war. She just didn’t expect to be the one who lived while another died. Shepard’s response was to use the rank card on her when she reminded him that Kaidan out-ranked her and according to alliance regulations should have been the one to live.  
“Ash, how far are you going to drive yourself?! Are you trying to be a martyr? To redeem your grandfather’s honor,” Shepard seemed to forget where they were as he reprimanded her in front of the rest of the squad.  
“That’s not fair,” Ashley defended.  
“The hell it isn’t. I don’t want a marine with a death wish covering my back. Get over it.” It was easy to tell that the Commander was getting frustrated with her arguing. Ashley decided to drop the subject for now and damn near ran back to the cargo bay and the corner she’d claimed.

It was only a few hours later that Shepard came down and approached her. When she told him that she didn’t want that kind of blood on her hands his response told her that was the wrong thing to say. “Williams, listen to me. I’m in command of this mission. I made the call. Not you. He’s dead because of me. His blood isn’t on your hands, it’s on mine.” Andrew’s stern voice meant that it wasn’t up for debate; that was he decided and that was the way it was going to be, like it or not. He was of the firm opinion that as a soldier you had to be willing to die when you accept the uniform. Ashley bit back all the things she wanted to say. ‘We can’t all be as heartless as you’, ‘Do you even care that one of our own died or are we all just pawns to you’, ‘How could you be so cold-hearted that you can’t take a moment to mourn the death of your friend’. The chief wanted to scream at him, shout, anything that would get a reaction; anything was better than the blank look he was giving her. She was relieved he left soon after.

It was hours later, well into what qualified as night on the ship, that Ashley made her way to the mess hall to get something to eat. The hushed sound of a voice told her someone else was up. She rounded the left corner to the open dining area and froze where she stood. Andrew was alone on the deck, standing where Kaidan used to. She felt a flash of anger at that. He hasn’t even been dead for a day and Shepard was already clearing his things away?  
“You know that right?”  
The words made her stop any movement she’d been about to make.  
“God, I wish I didn’t have to make that choice… If I could do it over I’d tell that salarian to shove it. He had his people and I had mine.” Andrew gripped the railing in front of him and cast his face downward. “You were mine… my responsibility… you trusted me with your life… and I let you down… the last time we spoke it didn’t end on the best note… and now… now I know that no matter what I do or say I can’t do anything to fix it…”  
As Ashley watched the scene in front of her she felt her eyes well up with tears. Shepard blamed himself, and it was eating away at him; probably had been since he was forced to make that decision. “Ash is trying to blame herself, you know… _she_ didn’t do anything… it was my decision… and it’s my fault… it’s my fault that you didn’t make it back this time…”  
_plink plink plink_  
It took almost a full minute for her mind to catch up to what she was hearing. When the pieces came together it seemed impossible. Yet she was seeing it with her own eyes; Andrew Shepard, Mr. badass himself, was crying. The soft sound of his tears hitting the metal floor echoed in the dead silence. Ashley quietly left the room and vowed to never breathe a word of this to anyone.


	6. Through Their Eyes- Zaeed

Zaeed didn’t think much of the kid standing in front of him, and as far as he was concerned Shepard was a kid playing at being a leader in a war he knew nothing about. It didn’t matter that his face was marred with deep scars, this kid wasn’t a general. The Illusive Man had promised a soldier of unmatched skill. The mercenary followed the dark-haired man as that was the deal. Shepard sent his male companion back to the ship and ordered him and the woman to follow. Zaeed wasn’t sure what exactly they were doing in the club, though he wasn’t complaining. Both of them were stopped at the foot of the stairs while Aria invited the Commander up. The mercenary couldn’t hear what they were saying over the music, but soon enough the other man rejoined them.

Zaeed wasn’t confident about Shepard’s plan. In fact he thought it was suicide. Walking across a sniper’s kill zone and hoping they don’t end up on the wrong side of his scope was by far the stupidest plan he’d ever heard. Shepard started shooting the mercs in the back of the head almost as soon as they cleared the barricade. It turns out the man was onto something as the sniper noticed them immediately and let them know by shooting the ground at their feet. The mercenaries after Archangel were taken down before they realized what was happening. They made their way to the upper level of the building and the room the sniper had holed up in. When Archangel removed his helmet he seemed somewhat surprised to see Shepard, and vice versa. There was clearly some history there, but the thing that confused Zaeed was Archangel- Garrus, as the Commander called him- thought Shepard was dead. The bounty hunter could easily see that the turian had a firm sense of justice and honor, killing mercenaries on Omega took balls. Whatever he’s been doing was enough to put him on the radar of the three largest bands on Omega. From what he’s seen of the Commander- hacking datapads and breaking into safes for money, reprogramming a mech to kill anything that moved, and electrocuting a guy- the two of them couldn’t be more opposite. So why did the turian trust Shepard so completely? The two fought in a way that could only be achieved from countless battles at each other’s side. As wave after wave of Blue Suns, Eclipse and Blood Pack was gunned down their confidence grew. The gunship was something they hadn’t accounted for. Archangel- Garrus- ending up taking a rocket head on and Zaeed was doubtful of his chance of survival.

The turian was tougher than Zaeed gave him credit for, he not only survived the rocket but was up and talking after less than a day. Shepard didn’t hesitate to take Archangel- Garrus- and him to pick up the salarian. When they heard there was a plague that only humans were immune to he expected the turian to refuse to go anywhere near the place; Garrus didn’t hesitate to follow Shepard into the plague zone. Zaeed couldn’t figure out what the Commander had done to cause such unwavering loyalty from the turian. The avian race was known for its militaristic culture and while rank played a small part, the kind of loyalty the sniper showed toward Shepard had to have been rightfully earned. Turians were also known for their sense of public service and selflessness; Shepard didn’t seem like either. Zaeed watched the pair closely as they fought their way through a few Blue Sun mercenaries and toward Dr. Solus.

The thing that surprised him more than anything he’s seen in the past few days was Garrus simply going along with Shepard’s decision to let that batarian die with nothing more than a sarcastic comment. Whatever this plague was it was highly contagious as their turian began showing symptoms early on in their mission to find Mordin Solus. More Blue Suns thought they would attack their group of three and lost horribly. He learned quickly that Shepard has a habit of looking in every nook and cranny for anything he could find, which was how they came across a couple who’d holed themselves up in their apartment. Zaeed expected the Commander to respond in his usual way, guns and bullets, and only served to confuse the bounty hunter when he’d suggested the couple get to the safety of the salarian’s clinic. In a roundabout way. Pride was something that carried over among every species and when it’s questioned people become determined to prove you wrong.

Finding the two looters in the home of a turian plague victim didn’t make him look twice. Shepard was a different story.  
“Stealing from the dead. That’s pretty low.” Zaeed figured it would be best if he didn’t remind the man he did the same thing, different circumstances sure, but it was still what these guys were doing.  
“Besides, if we don’t take this stuff the vorcha or Blue Suns will. Better us than them, right?”  
“No more looting.” The authority in the younger man’s tone made it clear that was an order.  
“Or what you gonna shoot us?”  
“I’ve killed people for less.” Andrew growled as his hand twitch toward the assault rifle on his back.  
“Uh… I don’t think he’s kidding man.” The fear rolled off the two in waves as Shepard gave a sadistic smirk and reveled in it.  
“Whoa, hold on a minute. Nobody needs to shoot nobody. We’re stopping okay?”  
“We just wanted to make a quick buck— it ain’t worth getting killed over. We’re done. Seriously. I swear.”  
“I’ll be going then,” the Commander narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  
“Yeah, sure. We’ll just stay here for awhile. Get some rest. Don’t worry— you made your point. We ain’t gonna steal nothing.”  
“You sure? ‘Cause I can still shoot you.” Andrew held his pistol, turning it in his hand threateningly.  
“Let’s get going, Shepard,” the turian sounded somewhere between amused and exasperated, as if it was part of some on-going joke. Zaeed replayed what just happened in his mind over and over before it hit him, Shepard never intended to follow through with the threat; that’s why Garrus didn’t say anything about threatening civilians. Now the question was why. Why did he threaten those guys if he didn’t intend to follow through? The mercenary had seen him watch as people died in front of him and not bat an eye. So what was different about this time? Zaeed began to watch Shepard closely; him and the turian, since the change seemed to occur after they recruited the sniper.

Shepard was a mass of contradictions. He gunned down the batarians holding Mordin’s assistant after he said he’d let them leave. Zaeed compared this to the situation from before and the only difference he could find is that the batarians were threatening someone. Once again the realization slammed into him; Shepard was protecting the salarian’s assistant, and in a roundabout way he was protecting the couple and the looters. By suggesting the couple go to the clinic he was making sure they wouldn’t starve hiding in their apartment, and by forcing the looters to stop he was ensuring they wouldn’t piss off the wrong people and get themselves killed. He looked over to the turian who had such unwavering faith in the Commander and now he knew why. Where everyone else saw Andrew as a loose cannon with a hair-trigger temper and gun to match; Garrus saw a man who was fiercely loyal and protected the lives he could even if it seems the opposite. Zaeed nodded approvingly at the Commander as they returned to Mordin’s Clinic. Maybe there was hope for Shepard after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was playing ME2 with Andrew I actually said Andrew's line to the looters and I thought it kind of fit. XD


	7. The Way of Invisibility- Kasumi

Kasumi activated her cloak with a couple of sharp taps on her omnitool, then slipped out of the room with the near-silent hiss of the doors as the only sign of her passage. She slid, silent and invisible, through the corridors towards the mess hall. The early hour meant that there would, hopefully, be almost no one there, and her cloak took care of anyone seeing her on the way. Her current mission was a deeply personal one that was started by a visit to the Citadel. Try to recreate her grandmother’s ramen recipe, something she wouldn’t have to do if she had stolen the recipe when she’d had the chance. She arrived at the entrance to the mess hall and froze when she heard a voice. A second later, she’d identified the voice as Commander Shepard talking to someone else that she recognized as the cook.  
“You know Kasumi mentioned that she hasn’t had ramen in a while.” Kasumi almost dropped her cloaking out of shock. That comment had been offhand, and hadn’t been meant as anything let alone a request for the man to talk with the cook.  
“You know you don’t have to do this every morning, Commander,” the cook sounded as if he was rehashing an old argument.  
“But then who would make sure you don’t poison the whole ship,” Shepard responded in a playful tone.  
“My cooking isn’t that bad,” the cook said, though the complaint had the same playful ring as the Commander’s.  
“When the food stops walking off when you cook alone I’ll believe it,” Andrew teased, earning him a light shove from the other man.  
“Get out of here or the crew will find out what a good housewife you are.”  
Kasumi smiled at the thought of the man who enjoyed killing a bit too much as homemaker. The commander would probably go crazy from the lack of excitement and enemies to shoot full of holes, set on fire, freeze, or blow up. Actually when she thought about it it was amazing that the soldier even knew how to actually cook. She was so caught up in her thoughts she almost didn’t move out of the entrance before Andrew left, laughing and ducking under a balled up dish towel. Kasumi slipped out of the mess hall following behind Andrew, and once again slipped silently through the corridors to return to the port observation deck where she had set herself up. The thief had her doubts about the Commander at first, but seeing that the stoic and gruff ‘Commander’ was different than ‘Andrew’ made her think she’d made the right decision after all.


End file.
